Rez to return in 2008 on Xbox Live Arcade

Abstract on-rails shooter and cult hit Rez is to make a long overdue return when it hits Xbox Live Arcade in Q1 2008. Developer Q Entertainment confirmed the return of one of the Dreamcast and PlayStation 2's most critically acclaimed titles in a press release earlier today, announcing that the title would return as "Rez HD," a direct port of the original, but with high-definition visuals and 5.1 surround sound.

(I'm shocked that I can't find an animating userpic of the Rez life stages anywhere.)

Linux/OSX drivers and fingerd client for the Rez Trance Vibrator:

This program is a rudimentary teledildonics application built around the finger daemon - hence bringing generations of CS undergrad innuendo full circle.

It has two modes in addition to what you're seeing now - if you finger [any string]@[this host], a series of random pulses will be generated, proportional to the length of the string.

Alternatively, fingering 0x[hex digits]@[this host] will instead send a direct stream of motor speeds to the vibrator, one per second.

This is so much less cool than the Rez Trance Vibrator.

Shock Controller Instructions: It all begins with a fist hitting your player in "Mortal Kombat." The Xbox sends your controller a signal telling it to activate the spinning motor inside the controller that provides force feedback. A +5v charge is sent to the motor. You've replaced the motor with your relay [...] The shock is sent from the shocker to the controller and zaps the user [with 20,000-volt pulses at 0.2 joules per pulse.]

Make sure to keep the shocker in one hand! You never want to split the ground/voltage between two hands. If you do, the voltage runs through your heart, which is bad.

The generalized followup to the Rez Trance Vibrator has arrived:

Audi-Oh

"Audi-Oh is a revolution in stimulation technology for men or women. Sound is converted into infinitely variable pulses of pleasure. Audi-Oh* can use ambient sound, like the music in your favorite club, or direct audio input from devices such as portable CD players, MP3 players, your PC or home audio and video systems. You'll find a million ways to use Audi-Oh!"

1. Back in November, I learned about this game called Rez. Well, exoskeleton has a copy for PS2, and he brought it over and we played it on my lovely new projector (which arrived today.)

   It is. The best. Game. Ever.

   I cannot, of course, find a copy of it for myself. I found one store that claimed to have it in stock, and three days after I ordered it, they said "oops! it's gone." And I don't even own a PS2: I was going to buy one just to play this game. (It looks like Amazon's used site has it, but I won't give Amazon money; there are occasional copies of it on ebay, but I find participation in auctions far too annoying to tolerate: I can only really deal with the kind of commerce where someone tells you the price and then you pay it, or don't. Haggling and auction-delay-and-uncertainty drive me insane.)

   So, I'm going to have to hit exoskeleton over the head and take his copy. Please don't tell him.

   Then we started kickin' it old skool yo:

2. I picked up a copy of the Mind Candy DVD, which is ~4 hours of video of "demo scene" animations. These are, basically, little nightclub-background-video animations with bleepy computer-music soundtracks made by teenagers in the 1980s on computers that, at the time, you would think were way to wimpy to accomplish some of these effects. So that sounds interesting, right? Well, I've only watched a little bit of it but... it really doesn't stand up. The most cringeful thing about them is how they all spend 1/4th to 1/3rd of their time giving scrolling, spinning "shout outs" to their "homies". Who all have jolly pirate hax0r names like "acid burn" and "crash override". It's really pretty embarrassing.

   Anyway, the thing that amazed me most about this disc is that I kept guessing that the demos were way older than they actually were: like, I'd watch one, and think, ``that's pretty impressive if it was 1988 and an Amiga.'' And then it turns out it was 1995... and an Amiga. WTF?

   Not that I'd turn any of these down if they were submitted for inclusion with xscreensaver, mind you. rzr_grl said I need to add an xscreensaver mode that just shouts out to the cru. Lest I fail to keep it real.

3. We also played the PS2 version of Test Drive (Test Drive 8?) and for comparison, fired up Test Drive 1 (from what, 1988?) on my Amiga 1000. Test Drive 1 is a lot harder, but a lot less fun. (This may be partly because I couldn't find my good joystick, so we were using an Atari 2600 joystick, which was already oldskool when Test Drive 1 was cutting edge!)

   The audio portion of Test Drive 1 is like, totally electroclash. It could be a Miss Kittin song, all it needs is someone talking over it in a deadpan monotone going, ``I'm playing the video games. With all my famous friends. It is, so glamorous. Ha ha ha.''

4. Also picked up the Cabaret Voltaire: Live at the Hacienda 83/86 DVD. It's interesting, but I'd recommend against it unless you're already an obsessive fanboy about the band (like... me.) I haven't watched it all yet, but from what I've seen it's mostly a really craptacular recording; the sound quality is awful, and the video is mostly black. But it is interesting to see how much live instrumentation they used back then, due to the fact that making those sounds was actually work. So, interesting cultural artifact, lousy concert film.

   There's are a few non-live video segments on it, one of which had several edits a second, leading me to comment, ``wow, that took a hell of a lot of scotch tape.''

Rez:

The game takes place in a virtual world inside a computer. You play a hacker of sorts, flying through six levels of cyberspace in search of the artificial intelligence at the heart of this world.

Every time you destroy one of the insect-like enemies, a sound is generated. This sound becomes a form in the scrolling, flashing 3D computer world rushing past. Destroying enemies in patterns results in more elaborate sounds and effects, literally creating the music and the graphics on the fly.

"We worked closely with the artists within the game, breaking down the tracks to the most basic of notes then putting them all back together to fit in with the game structure," Mr Mizuguchi told BBC News Online. [...]

"We have a vision that people will be chilling out with friends," said Mr Mizuguchi. "While one person is playing Rez, the others can watch the visuals and listen to the music."

Plus Rumble Pack (panty liner included):

That's why I was so excited by Rez's trance vibrator, since it seems to have no other purpose than to act as a masturbatory aid. Its shape is pretty nice, it can slip easily under your skirt or in your panties, it comes with a protective "glove" which you can wash, and it emits a regular pulsating rhythm that gets ever more intense and thrilling the deeper you go into the game. Damn, by the end I was writhing on the floor! Synesthesia indeed.