Slumming on lolfbmoments.com:

• "Ladies and Gentlemen... my sister is a whore."
• "Werewolf."
• "Thundercats."
• "Sunglasses."

Fortunately the utility belt that was provided for him contained shark repellant.

A civilian passenger in an air force display plane accidentally activated the ejector seat while reaching for something to steady himself during a mid-air manoeuvre. It is thought he activated the ejector seat after lurching forward during an aerobatic manoeuvre and accidentally pulling on the black and yellow emergency handle between his legs.

Mathematically Correct Breakfast

An ideal knife could enter on the black line and come out exactly opposite, on the red line. But in practice, it is easier to cut in halfway on both the black line and the red line. The cutting surface is a two-twist Mobius strip; it has two sides, one for each half. After being cut, the two halves can be moved but are still linked together, each passing through the hole of the other. (So when you buy your bagels, pick ones with the biggest holes.)

Previously, previously.

Fake Tree Vortex Threatens to Suck in Entire Backyard

"The wall and floor planes are actually entirely flat and perpendicular, and the tree vortex is an illusion created by the sloping lines."

First iPhone worm discovered

Apple iPhone owners in Australia have reported that their smartphones have been infected by a worm that has changed their wallpaper to an image of 1980s pop crooner Rick Astley. Once in place, the worm appears to attempt to find other iPhones on the mobile phone network that are similarly vulnerable, and installs itself again

On each installation, the worm - written by a hacker calling themselves "ikex" - changes the lock background wallpaper to an image of Rick Astley with the message: "ikee is never going to give you up".

Very nice:

In the event you're stopped by overzealous law enforcement or security officials attempting to enforce fictitious laws, I've designed these fictitious and official-looking Photographer's Licenses. If you have Adobe Illustrator, you can download the vector art EPS file and print your own. You'll need a photo of yourself, and OCR or an equivalent-looking font to fill in your personal information.

Department of Homeland Security Photographer's License
San Francisco Muni Photographer's License

The Yelp Tee: Almost More Brilliant Than Pizzeria Delfina's Pizza

Genius idea: The worst of Yelp's reviews now gracing the tees at Pizzeria Delfina.

Delfina is taking back the night, so to speak. Instead of simply bitching about Yelp, they've made Yelp their bitch and taken quotes from one-star reviews posted on Yelp about the pizzeria and made them into T-shirts for their staff to wear. (They also have one that simply says, "This place sucks," a quote from yet another typically eloquent and insightful Yelp review.)

Previously.

Perhaps their mistake was in only leaving cards, rather than also making stultifying speeches about the nature of anarchy:

Two Pembroke teenagers have been charged in connection with a series of playing cards that were defaced with threatening writing and left at stores in Christiansburg and Pearisburg -- a gesture police said the teens admitted had been inspired by this summer's Batman movie, "The Dark Knight."

Justin Colby Dirico and Bryan Eugene Stafford, both 18, admitted to leaving cards that bore handwritten messages inside the Pearisburg Wal-Mart, according to police Chief J.C. Martin.

Both were charged with conspiracy to commit an act of terrorism.

Dirico and Stafford are being held at the New River Regional Jail without bond.