jwz - Lethal Star Trek blade seized in knives amnesty

jwz - Lethal Star Trek blade seized in knives amnesty

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Lethal Star Trek blade seized in knives amnesty

[Sat, 23-Aug-2008 5:11 PM]

[	Tags	\|	big brother, furries, tv	]
[	music	\|	The Knife -- The Cop	]

I have no joke here:

This horrifying five-foot weapon has been recovered by police during a knife amnesty. The three-handled sword with a blade at either end, designed to be swung like a paddle, shocked officers who took custody of it.
A spokesman for police in Gloucester, where it was surrendered, said: "It is a particularly nasty weapon that can, literally, take someone's head off. We are very glad it is off the streets and we want more weapons handed in."
The blade is believed to be a stainless-steel copy of a Klingon weapon used in the science fiction series Star Trek. "It's an extremely dangerous weapon," said a martial arts expert last night.

Comments:

From:

skywaterblue
Sun, 24-Aug-2008 12:20 AM (UTC)

(Link)

Actually, I'd love to know if anyone had ever been killed by bat'leth.

It has to have happened at some point, right?

(Reply) (Thread)

From:

dummyswitch
Sun, 24-Aug-2008 2:50 PM (UTC)

(Link)

People tend not to be killed by Bat'leth; rather, repeated blows to the forehead cause the victims' fractured skulls to heal into interesting configurations.

THAT'S HOW THAT HAPPENED.

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

From:

duskwuff
Sun, 24-Aug-2008 12:28 AM (UTC)

(Link)

"We are very glad it is off the streets and we want more weapons handed in."

Because there are obviously thugs on the streets hiding bat'leth under their coats.

(Reply) (Thread)

From:

meoka2368
Sun, 24-Aug-2008 12:31 AM (UTC)

Wow

(Link)

Here I am, trying to find a place to buy one, and someone's just giving his away. Damn.

(Reply) (Thread)

From:

muerte
Sun, 24-Aug-2008 12:35 AM (UTC)

(Link)

Most of those are cheap replicas, and not sharp at all. So it's no more dangerous than swinging a 2x4 around. I suppose if someone sharpened an edge on it, it would be dangerous.

(Reply) (Thread)

From:

ladyjalana
Sun, 24-Aug-2008 12:52 AM (UTC)

(Link)

Well, they already made guns illegal and mysteriously they still have violent crime, so now it must be all the knives, bat'leth, and morningstars that are causing it.

Can't be the *criminals*...

(Reply) (Thread)

From:

dmlaenker
Sun, 24-Aug-2008 1:09 AM (UTC)

(Link)

Couldn't be the rising inequality and social injustice, either.

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread) (Expand)

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From:

korgmeister
Sun, 24-Aug-2008 1:12 AM (UTC)

(Link)

How in the hell is it even possible to wield something that ridiculous looking effectively in combat?

(Reply) (Thread)

From:

chiefseamonkey
Sun, 24-Aug-2008 1:27 AM (UTC)

(Link)

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread) (Expand)

korgmeister Expand

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From:

theweaselking
Sun, 24-Aug-2008 1:29 AM (UTC)

(Link)

It's not.

Hence "Star Trek".

It, like libertarianism, is completely useless outside an argument on the internet.

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

From:

livejournalsux
Sun, 24-Aug-2008 7:48 AM (UTC)

(Link)

Which is more awesome? The bat'leth or the mighty stick of Bannination?

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread) (Expand)

xenogram Expand

From:

jeremiahblatz
Sun, 24-Aug-2008 1:34 AM (UTC)

Finally appropriate

(Link)

Dear Gloucester police, in Soviet England, bat'leth jokes you.

Also, nice background.

(Reply) (Thread)

From:

slacktide
Sun, 24-Aug-2008 1:41 AM (UTC)

(Link)

Is that a police officer or an airline captain?

Ahhhhhhhh.... good morning ladies and gentlemen. We have just reached our cruising orbit, 0.8 loghqam from Q'onoS. I have just slain the co-pilot in a deadly Bat'leth competition after he insulted my great-grandfather's honor. If you look out the left side of the bird of prey, you can see the Grand Canyon.

(Reply) (Thread)

From:

andr00
Sun, 24-Aug-2008 3:38 AM (UTC)

(Link)

It's Inspector McGarry of Gloucester: "Tisn't a bad day to die."

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

From:

hadlock
Sun, 24-Aug-2008 3:08 AM (UTC)

(Link)

My dad and I made some of those out of plywood when I was a kid. Ours were a bit more sawtooth-bladed though, which caused them to catch and rotate around the opposing blade as an axis. Mom quickly outlawed their use...

(Reply) (Thread)

From:

badmole
Sun, 24-Aug-2008 4:36 AM (UTC)

(Link)

A bat'leth is no joking matter.

(Reply) (Thread)

From:

drakkenfyre
Sun, 24-Aug-2008 11:30 AM (UTC)

(Link)

It is clearly a serious weapon of honour.

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

From:

xenogram
Sun, 24-Aug-2008 6:10 AM (UTC)

(Link)

"It's an extremely dangerous weapon" said a ~~martial arts expert~~ star trek fan wearing gray trackpants last night.

Edited at 2008-08-24 06:11 am (UTC)

(Reply) (Thread) (Expand)

From:

cnoocy
Sun, 24-Aug-2008 2:59 PM (UTC)

(Link)

My thought when I read the extremely dangerous weapon part was: "to the target, or to the wielder?"

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

hallerlake Expand

From:

mcity
Sun, 24-Aug-2008 1:32 PM (UTC)

(Link)

Why the "furries" tag?

(Reply) (Thread)

From:

cryptomail
Sun, 24-Aug-2008 3:31 PM (UTC)

Tribbles

(Link)

It's not a huge leap to bundle Star Trek (dress up fans), in with the Furries.
Both groups wake up in the morning, brush their teeth, sip morning coffee, and act on their dress up fetishes.

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

From:

murphys_lawyer
Sun, 24-Aug-2008 3:38 PM (UTC)

Two-year-old report

(Link)

Yawn...

(Reply) (Thread)

From:

jwz
Sun, 24-Aug-2008 5:42 PM (UTC)

Re: Two-year-old report

(Link)

OH I'M SORRY I'LL PROCESS YOUR REFUND RIGHT NOW.

WE VALUE YOU AS A CUSTOMER AND WILL TAKE YOUR INPUT INTO CONSIDERATION IN THE FUTURE.

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread) (Expand)

Re: Two-year-old report -

specialagentm Expand

From:

jkonrath
Sun, 24-Aug-2008 4:17 PM (UTC)

(Link)

I somehow know that somewhere, someone is trying to develop a Wii Bat'leth controller for some Nintendo Klingon game.

(Reply) (Thread)

From:

taskboy3000
Sun, 24-Aug-2008 6:08 PM (UTC)

I beg to differ

(Link)

«The blade is believed to be a stainless-steel copy of a Klingon weapon used in the science fiction series Star Trek. "It's an extremely dangerous weapon," said a martial arts expert last night.»

It's only dangerous with the right training. No mere amateur can expect to place well in the Bat'leth competition. Bah!

QAPLA'!

(Reply) (Thread)

From:

baconmonkey
Sun, 24-Aug-2008 10:07 PM (UTC)

(Link)

unrelated:

Child stealing Swarm-Bots

(Reply) (Thread)

From:

nightrider
Mon, 25-Aug-2008 1:42 AM (UTC)

stop. macro time.

(Link)

Late to the party, as usual, but I felt compelled to chime in with this little gem:

(Reply) (Thread)

From:

bostonsteamer
Mon, 25-Aug-2008 6:11 PM (UTC)

Surprised nobody made this joke yet...

(Link)

When 3-handed Klingon blades are outlawed, only outlaws will have 3-handed Klingon blades.

(Reply) (Thread) (Expand)

From:

terpsichoros
Mon, 25-Aug-2008 6:33 PM (UTC)

Re: Surprised nobody made this joke yet...

(Link)

When knives are outlawed, only Klingons will have knives.

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

Re: Surprised nobody made this joke yet... -

rodgerd Expand