| "What black arts could have stripped this chocolate of its natural hue?" |
[Thu, 21-Aug-2008 10:52 AM] |
| [ | Tags | | | tentacles | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Leather Studded Diaphragm -- Chocodaemon parts I and II | ] |
Selections From H.P. Lovecraft's Brief Tenure as a Whitman's Sampler Copywriter Chocolate Cherry Cordial You must not think me mad when I tell you what I found below the thin shell of chocolate used to disguise this bonbon's true face. Yes! Hidden beneath its rich exterior is a hideously moist cherry cordial! What deranged architect could have engineered this non-Euclidean aberration? I dare not speculate. Caramel Chew There is a dimension ruled by a blind caramel God-King who sits on a vast, cyclopean milk-chocolate throne while his mindless, gooey followers dance to the piping of crazed flutes. It is said that there are gateways in our world that lead to this caramel hell-planet. The delectable Caramel Chew may be one such portal. |
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| Comments: |
![[User Picture]](http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/3977354/8064) | From: ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) giles
Thu, 21-Aug-2008 7:11 PM (UTC)
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What, no comparisons of dark chocolate to a hideous and animalistic black person?
While there were many Lovecraftian elements, there was a distinct lack of tentacular treats. I call false advertising.
![[User Picture]](http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/87991296/9917048) | From: cattycritic
Thu, 21-Aug-2008 7:34 PM (UTC)
With that lol, I am won | (Link)
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I give up, that does it, resistance is fruitless. I'm getting a subscription.
![[User Picture]](http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/5887295/515656) | From: jwz
Thu, 21-Aug-2008 7:40 PM (UTC)
Re: With that lol, I am won | (Link)
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I find McSweeney's brilliant about 1% of the time, and really pretty tedious and awful the rest. Fortunately, this corresponds to about the portion of articles that get sent to me, so I don't have to wade through it myself.
The pirate store is cute, though.
![[User Picture]](http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/35732676/1425775) | From: lindseykuper
Thu, 21-Aug-2008 10:51 PM (UTC)
Re: With that lol, I am won | (Link)
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I kind of want to subscribe to both the Believer and to Skeptic, just so I can put 'em next to each other.
This is actually forcing me to go buy chocolates.
![[User Picture]](http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/21530042/453275) | From: twid
Thu, 21-Aug-2008 9:00 PM (UTC)
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These all sound exactly like they are written by Tycho at Penny-Arcade.
Draw your own conclusions.
They didn't include my favorite Lovecraftian adjective:
unwholesome
This explains why my first edition Fiend Folio has a chapter on confectionaries that was removed in later editions.
| From: jwz
Fri, 22-Aug-2008 2:04 AM (UTC)
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Indeed, prior to his career as a Singulatarian, Charlie Stross was a desert chef.
damnit, i haven't heard that song in almost 2 decades now.
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