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I still go out, but not quite as much. Here's some reasons why:
Too much stuff is on the weekdays and, though I live in San Francisco, I work in Silicon Valley!
These days I expect to be able to find events very easily online. If it's not on Larry Bob or the Squid List, I'm probably not going to hear about it.
Too many clubs got shut down by cops in the 90s and now I'm just too sad about it.
(Also, I'm busy going to furry conventions in St. Paul dressed as a squirrel, and using my mom's dialup to troll for flamewars on the Debian lists.)
Oh! And my brother left town, and he was my main hookup for cool things.
Yep.
Its not that WoW is more attractive than real life. Its that it doesn't require any preparation, not even putting on pants, so its easy to just start playing a bit, and then you seem to be having an OK time, and some of your buddies are on anyway, so going out seems a bit effort for soemthing that might not turn out to be substantial imrpovement over what you are doing anyway. Of course Real Life is better when its good, but when Real Life is uncertain and possibly mediocre WoW is so much easier.
ANd that's excluding social pressure to raid etc.
Quit speed, got a real job, became a semi-responsible semi-adult, resulting in 3-4 nights a week out becoming 3-4 nights a month out.
And even there most of the time I'm out is for Noisescape, promoting my own club night, or my now ex-girlfriends dj gigs.
Edited at 2008-03-08 12:12 am (UTC)
Because people suck and I can entertain myself without being around them. Let's face it, I am over being around proles. Plus, my life is quickly getting to the point where people need to start paying me to be at nightclubs. I doubt that will ever happen except for the when dealing with Bondage A Go Go once a month for the tribe.net fiestas.
![[User Picture]](http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/73180911/236883) | From: netik Sat, 8-Mar-2008 12:29 AM (UTC)
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i see you out at 90% of the events I go to, and no one pays you. Come on.
Video games.
For the same price of 1 evening out on the town, I can get a game that = anywhere from 50 hours of fun to 3 years (World of Warcraft)of fun for another 15/month.
More bang for the buck.
As a game developer, I support this!
Heh heh!
Egan
because the drugs just aren't fun anymore?
![[User Picture]](http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/73180911/236883) | From: netik Sat, 8-Mar-2008 12:29 AM (UTC)
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... because the bush administration has made them impossible to get, more like.
![[User Picture]](http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/8752301/275239) | From: roisnoir Sat, 8-Mar-2008 12:42 AM (UTC)
Why I suck and don't go out anymore | (Link)
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* I got sick of spending at least $40 on drinks (for myself - it's more when I have friends with me and we're trading rounds) every time I went out. I have a fairly high alcohol tolerance, it seems, and the best that $40 bought me was a moderate buzz. I can't handle that many people around me without some sort of chemical insulation, and usually I won't dance unless I've had a drink.
* I lived in a crappy neighborhood, and didn't like coming home late, as I was often on foot. Now I live in an impossible-to-get-to-after-midnight neighborhood (muni stops at midnight, and it's up a big hill), and adding an extra $15 for a taxi home on top of the cover charge and drinks is a little too spendy.
* Weeknight clubs = late to work next morning. Also, what to do with myself between the time I get out of work and the time the club opens? I'm hardly going to stay at work! Going home to change usually means that inertia kicks my butt, and I wind up staying home.
* My "clubbing wardrobe" is all worn out, and I don't have the time or money to replace it. Dancing in my work clothes is less fun. Also, random and unexpected weight loss means that none of my corsets fit anymore. Grrr.
* I hate it when sweaty strangers brush up against me. Ew! I have to leave before it gets crowded.
* After going out regularly for years, I realized that I didn't talk to anyone I didn't already know, most of my friends had stopped going out for a variety of reasons, and I couldn't figure out a good way for my shy butt to meet new people without making myself sick with nerves. Sitting alone sucks.
I'll make an effort to make it to a concert if it's a band I really adore, but if it's something local and recurring, well, I can go anytime. I'll stay in with the cat and a novel instead. If it's something local and one-off, I'll stay home because it'll be too crowded for me to enjoy it.
![[User Picture]](http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/68475597/10724887) | From: mc_kingfish Sat, 8-Mar-2008 12:54 AM (UTC)
Re: Why I suck and don't go out anymore | (Link)
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Only point I'll make here: If it's local and reoccurring and you don't support it, it goes away. I'm not saying you have to love everything that everyone does, but if you _do_ like something, realize that dismissing it because it's "reoccurring" just means waving goodbye to it.
I fully understand your reasons for thinking differently about this, but it's an important point and the distinction needs to be made. A lot of people make this mistake. A lot of people think that events/clubs/etc. are paid for by magical sources and that they're permenent fixtures like Disneyland. Untrue. Promoters pay to keep your favorite club nights going, most often out-of-pocket.
![[User Picture]](http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/63521121/508413) | From: osi Sat, 8-Mar-2008 12:44 AM (UTC)
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i'm picky about the noises i use to further deteriorate my hearing
but that's me-now vs me-10-years-ago
the real question is why aren't the people 10 years younger taking my place? aren't they more numerous?
I _completely_ agree with that, and maybe I should have been more clear about that point. Forget the fact that complacency is the new giving-a-crap, where are the last 2 or 3 _generations_ of "replacements"? I go to a _lot_ of different stuff... Unless they are literally all of them in hip-hop clubs, I haven't seen hide nor hair of 'em!
Hmm... Not bad so far.
I forgot to include the drug angle in the follow-up points (though I mentioned it in a related email, but that doesn't help us here.)
I'm at least somewhat (and oddly) satisfied to see I was right about the video-game thing (I'm still irritated by it, and don't really understand it, but at least my guess was kinda-sorta partly right.)
I should have had a seperate point specifically covering the fact that D. was excluded from this query by virtue of not only being _over_ everything, he's also much cooler than all peoples and all forms of entertainment, everywhere.
Well, mere _human_ entertainment, that is...
Now then, where are those furries...?
;)
They next generation is snorting coke and drinking Pabst Blue Ribbon in the Mission. Mission bars are jam-packed on your average Saturday night. The problem is not that people stopped going out - it's that they've stopped dancing.
I have been a sheltered weenie for my entire life. As a result, the inertia of having spent an entire life never going clubbing has resulted in a lack of desire/inspiration to start doing it now.
This pretty much describes me too.
I'd say a combination of:
- popular music goes in cycles. the cycle at this particular moment is not much to my liking. - there are clubs that cater to people who aren't into today's music, but all of them pretty much just play 80s music. - the new music i am into tends to be mind numbingly boring in terms of visual performance; it's more for putting on in the background while you do something else. alternately, it tends to appeal to crowds that i feel completely out of place in. - it's just so easy to waste all your time on the web or with tivo or video games. - personal antisocial issues.
I liked your second point.
I like listening to good bands. I'm not so much into clubbing. But even listening to bands requires being signed up to mailing lists and reading through the Guardian, etc. With the amount of spam + bacon + rss feeds + bands that don't really suck but eh not right now... it's easy to find a reason not to.
Also, iTunes + somafm == music burnout.
![[User Picture]](http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/26086966/1479335) | From: inoah Sat, 8-Mar-2008 1:05 AM (UTC)
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Actually I go out much more often than I used to. I'm less self-conscious, less neurotic, and frankly my life priorities have gone through some adjustments that caused me to realize that it's better to have fun once in a while than obsess over planning for a future you can't predict or control and might not even live to enjoy. Spend at least some time in the moment.
That said, I'd frequent a number of venues in SF more often if I could find places to park (I live out of town), it didn't hurt my eardrums, and I didn't have to get up early the next morning to report for indentured servitude. There are a lot of shows I'd like to go to if I just wasn't so damned tired after a full day. The only thing about age that makes me less committed is that I just don't have the same physical stamina I used to.
Edited at 2008-03-08 01:06 am (UTC)
![[User Picture]](http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/3977354/8064) | From: giles Sat, 8-Mar-2008 1:12 AM (UTC)
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Oh golly, I don't know about any of this, but as soon as this kernel finishes recompiling I'm going to dress up like a fox and bang the tits off a raccoon.
(Is "oh golly" sufficient to convey a Minnesota accent via text? I've never been there so I'm going on what I've heard comedians doing.)
"yah, sure, you betcha!" does a better job of it than "oh golly".
I'm not in San Francisco, but I'll answer anyway.
I do, in fact, go out most evenings, just not to clubs or bars or gigs. My evenings are mostly taken up by martial arts, rock climbing, juggling club, and the occasional activist group meeting (held in a pub, I suppose, so that kinda counts). This all costs money; on the other hand, it's cheaper than nights out partying, particularly if you drink as fast as I do. All these things are scheduled around people who work days, so they happen in the evenings. Afterwards (we're talking 9-10pm here) I go home, eat dinner, hang out with my girlfriend for a couple of hours, and go to bed around 1am.
The last gig I went to was the Chemical Brothers back in December; my flatmates went out to see some random thrash band a week or two ago and invited me along, but I was tired and it was pissing it down with rain and I'd just bought a copy of Portal, so I wussed out.
I used to go out to pubs more than I do now, but my current (admittedly very low) rate of gig-attendance is probably about as high as it's ever been. I enjoy gigs once I'm out, they just don't really occur to me as a way to spend a given evening - it's always a special effort to see a band I really like (and most of those sell out before I get round to buying tickets). Non-live music, especially painfully loud cheesy club dance shite (which seems to be the prevailing option), has never appealed to me.
Please review the first bullet-point under the section above labeled "please read the following carefully."
The bar/club scene wasn't doing good things for my health.
First off you can't be active on a weekend morning after drinking late the night before. Nowadays I want to spend some weekends hiking, snowshoeing, biking, etc. When I was 21 I was OK waking up at 1.
I also can't drink like I used to. I worry about the empty calories, and my liver, and now I turn into a loudmouth and act like an ass after 3 pints. I need a better way to pass the time before the band comes on.
Also, I found I like cooking with friends. We have dinner parties and drink wine. Technically that's "going out", just not to any public place.
I've found that getting up and going hiking is the best way of dealing with a hangover. All the fresh air and exercise, I guess.
That said, I still try to avoid going out drinking the night before a hike.
![[User Picture]](http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/9624370/1571) | From: evan Sat, 8-Mar-2008 1:28 AM (UTC)
i'm a grumpy old man and kind of embarrassed about it, but | (Link)
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I don't like paying a cover to drink overpriced poison and damage my hearing; I can do subsets of those things with just the people I like at more pleasant alternative venues. I think I used used to go out more frequently when I was younger because I hadn't thought the above through.
![[User Picture]](http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/27276650/6146006) | From: strspn Sat, 8-Mar-2008 10:31 AM (UTC)
Re: i'm a grumpy old man and kind of embarrassed about it, but | (Link)
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Same here.
Except there's more. About 10 years ago an ex was in town and we went out dancing at a SF nightclub. Suddenly I felt excruciatingly embarrassed, for no reason but that I did. I probably haven't been to a non-ballroom dance place five times since.
As for movies, Netflix.
I try to go to plays. I make it three or four times a year.
When I feel like paying absurd money for booze, I like to go to a bar in the lower Haight, near where I used to work, but no dancing.
![[User Picture]](http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/37295344/319666) | From: gnat23 Sat, 8-Mar-2008 1:36 AM (UTC)
*raises hand* | (Link)
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I'm gunna tip my hat to roisnoir: it's hard to go by yourself. - I'm always the designated driver. (and don't lecture me about public transportation: I live in San Mateo, I use Caltrain to commute all the time, but it's awkward to use late at night.) - I'm not guaranteed to have a conversation once there. Sometimes the conversations I do have are shouted over music, and/or I'm creeped out by the random stranger who decided to start conversation. Honestly, I think it was easier to chat with strangers when outside as a smoker. - While in my younger years, yes, I was more willing to stay up late on a weeknight, the truth is that now I actually care about what happens in my morning hours. I don't want to be hungover or bleary-eyed for it anymore. I guess weeknights, when faced with driving somewhere, wrestling for parking, paying a cover charge, spending money on drinks (paced, so I can drive home sober), not knowing the music well, and not knowing many people there... vs drinking cheaply at home with a Netflix? It's gotta be pretty special to get me to make the effort. One-offs, holidays, special events, and so on I'm more likely to convince myself that it's worth it. Since you specified money - yes, I've blown money on parts for my bike most recently. I figure I'm guaranteed to get some joy out of that for a long time, rather than the risk of ho-hum nights out.
![[User Picture]](http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/66868633/33052) | From: ch Sat, 8-Mar-2008 3:26 AM (UTC)
Re: *raises hand* | (Link)
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random stranger who decided to start conversation</a>
sorry, i didn't mean to talk to you.
:-)
![[User Picture]](http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/3544961/816248) | From: jered Sat, 8-Mar-2008 1:38 AM (UTC)
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Does getting married count as a life-changing condition?
Hmm... I dunno. I don't think so.
My parents have been married 44 years and have had an active social life throughout! :)
I fall in the "important life-changing conditions" mostly, so I suppose I generally don't count, but there's one big factor thats affecting everything:
The Internet
I include things like World Of Warcraft in this, along with the traditional forums, silly games, and other time wasters. All forms of entertainment have been suffering because of the increase in competition from The Internet. I remember reading an article a while back about how TV execs were freaking out about this, not because of people "pirating tv", but because they just didn't care about TV anymore. The Internet was more fun.
As a secondary point, I blame the culture of the day. The 90s were pretty fast-and-loose (dot.com business being the best example) and now, generally, people are much more stressed out. Such situations are not good for luxury spending like entertainment.
As a third, and much lesser point: today's music either A) sucks, or B) is too fractured. There isn't really a huge push in music like there has been before, that really drove the culture.
Has anyone under 30 replied to this post? I wanna know what the people who were supposed to replace us are doing instead of going clubbing?
![[User Picture]](http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/18747476/4215414) | From: zwol Sat, 8-Mar-2008 1:57 AM (UTC)
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- I don't like to get drunk, I don't like being around drunk people, and most of the regular club-type scenes are full of drunk people.
- Ditto other sorts of recreational drugs.
- In particular, I hate the smell of cigarette smoke and have close friends who are deathly allergic to it. This means I basically never go to bars, even in states where smoking is prohibited inside, because there's always the cloud of vile smoke outside.
- I like going to see live bands, but have always been too lazy to use any of the ways one finds out what live bands are playing in the near future, on a regular basis. Thus I miss lots of shows because I didn't know about them.
- Furthermore, almost all such shows are both overpriced and too loud, in my opinion.
- When I have a discretionary budget, I spend it on books, museum tickets, and restaurants, in that order.
- I would in general much rather be playing board games and/or just talking with a small group of people I already know than trying to interact socially with complete strangers in a noisy environment.
You could get me to go to a hell of a lot more shows just by forcing all the bands to cut the damn volume by about a third and the ticket prices by half. $10 for a nightclub show with a live band is about right, IMO, and no one needs more than about 60dB (measured from the audience). Oh, and that's $10 including sales tax and T*ck*tm*st*r surcharges.
![[User Picture]](http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/18747476/4215414) | From: zwol Sat, 8-Mar-2008 1:59 AM (UTC)
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I should add that I'm willing to go to some trouble to avoid surcharges (e.g. showing up in person at the box office to buy the tickets) but making that easier would be a definite win. I realize the promoters and bands don't have any control over how much the ticket brokers charge, but c'mon, this is 2008, why can't you sell tickets directly from the venue's website at no extra cost?
![[User Picture]](http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/36990459/466222) | From: g_na Sat, 8-Mar-2008 2:00 AM (UTC)
Here are a bunch of reasons | (Link)
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After 20 years of going to live music and dance clubs on a regular basis, including 7 years of working in clubs 1-3 times per week, usually 6 or more hours a night, frankly, I got tired of it.
Other reasons:
I don't know that many people out at the clubs anymore, and that makes it less fun.
I've already heard all those songs. Too many times.
Having allergies means that drinking is less fun for me. I used to like going to clubs and drinking, but clubs are less fun when you're not drinking.
I am no longer single, and that means 1) there is less impetus to go out and meet people, 2) I'd rather spend time with my spouse than I would a bunch of drunken kids I don't know.
I have to be up early four days a week, which means I can't stay out late on school nights. [Many years ago I realized a good nights' sleep was much more important than staying out later, and as you get older (I'm pretty sure I'm older than you, Jim) you don't deal as well with the lack of sleep.]
I'd rather interact with friends over a nice dinner/drinks somewhere where we can actually talk and have a conversation and be comfortable.
I've gained weight since n years ago and can't dress up the way I want to when I go out.
I've been exploring non-club outings, such as fancy restaurants, the aforementioned quiet evenings with friends, more travelling, weekend trips, working on hobbies, etc.
When I do go to clubs, it's more "special" (or whatever) because it's something I hardly ever do anymore.
![[User Picture]](http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/68475597/10724887) | From: mc_kingfish Sat, 8-Mar-2008 2:07 AM (UTC)
Re: Here are a bunch of reasons | (Link)
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AGH! YOU USED MY _HUMAN_ NAME!! On livejournal!! ;)
Again, though, please indicate where I said, "going to the same old danceclub nights."
I think a lot of people didn't actually read the question or the bullet points.
And I wouldn't argue your history or your cred. I respect the time and effort and years you put in.
(Now then... I'm pretty old, y'know... If you're older than me I'm going to need to see your license to operate a dinosaur!)
after a few years of being out 5 nights a week from 10 til 2am (literally), looking like a go-go dancer while cleaning my bathroom, and having people at the end-up actually know my name.........
![[User Picture]](http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/93079466/8388932) | From: dtk Sat, 8-Mar-2008 3:29 AM (UTC)
Re: all or nothing? | (Link)
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but now we are sad | |