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you'll find my cybernetic asshole requires extra attention today [Tue, 27-Mar-2007 12:48 PM]
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[music |Cruiserweight -- Burst the Bubble]

Crimp off that turd by gently squeezing your nuts:

The Acticon Neosphincter is the only implantable sphincter available for the treatment of severe fecal incontinence.

The cuff is implanted around a segment of the anal canal. When inflated, the cuff occludes the anal canal by applying circumferential pressure. The cuff opens under patient control and refills automatically following defecation.

Implanted in the soft tissue of the scrotum or labium, the control pump contains the resistor and valves needed to transfer fluid to and from the cuff. The control pump features a deactivation option so the cuff can be deflated for a prolonged period of time, as well as a septum port so fluid can be added to the system without additional surgery.


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Comments:
[User Picture]From: [info]mactavish
Tue, 27-Mar-2007 8:09 PM (UTC)

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That's really great. I'm glad they can do that for people. :)
[User Picture]From: [info]nidea
Wed, 28-Mar-2007 2:35 AM (UTC)

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me too. :)
From: [info]kfringe
Tue, 27-Mar-2007 8:09 PM (UTC)

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If anything ever needed to be tagged "parts," this is it.
[User Picture]From: [info]specialagentm
Tue, 27-Mar-2007 8:36 PM (UTC)

You just know...

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This is someone's total fetish.

I'd look in the .jp webspace for possible websites. That is, I'd look if I wanted to claw my own eyeballs out.
[User Picture]From: [info]king_mob
Tue, 27-Mar-2007 8:46 PM (UTC)

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The controller goes in your scrotum?

I think this might've been designed by a woman. Maybe it's revenge for pantyhose, or IUDs, or something.
[User Picture]From: [info]blaisepascal
Tue, 27-Mar-2007 8:47 PM (UTC)

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You have it wrong... gently squeezing the nuts will open the sphincter, not close it.
[User Picture]From: [info]da_zhuang
Tue, 27-Mar-2007 9:12 PM (UTC)

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I don't thank you enough for your sense of humor. I just can't stop laughing. The device is amazing, and I'm sure it will help alot of people, but your headline? Priceless.
[User Picture]From: [info]injector
Tue, 27-Mar-2007 9:16 PM (UTC)

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I hope I don't end up with fecal incontinence and erectile dysfunction or else I'm going to need a bigger scrotum.
[User Picture]From: [info]blaisepascal
Tue, 27-Mar-2007 9:21 PM (UTC)

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If you do, I guess you'd have to be extra careful about how you squeeze your nuts to prevent embarrassment.
[User Picture]From: [info]jwz
Wed, 28-Mar-2007 8:13 AM (UTC)

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"Righty tighty, lefty loosey"!
From: [info]ritcey
Wed, 28-Mar-2007 1:11 PM (UTC)

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That made me laugh so hard I cried. Thank you, JWZ, for getting my morning off to a good start.
[User Picture]From: [info]ahruman
Wed, 11-Apr-2007 7:36 AM (UTC)

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AOL.

Jwz, I love you and I want to eat your babies.
From: [info]dasht_brk
Wed, 28-Mar-2007 8:11 PM (UTC)

he said "balls"

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Brings a whole new meaning to "waiting for his balls to drop."

No, hold on (cough).. scrotum or labia -- c'mon, really, there's gotta be a placement that better supports a sex life.

-t
[User Picture]From: [info]kimberley66
Tue, 27-Mar-2007 9:50 PM (UTC)

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By the time you have both, someone will probably have developed a nifty extra scrotal pouch, then you can have 3 balls.
[User Picture]From: [info]baconmonkey
Tue, 27-Mar-2007 9:37 PM (UTC)

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the reacharound machine!
[User Picture]From: [info]kimberley66
Tue, 27-Mar-2007 9:48 PM (UTC)

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that could be dangerous. . . . .
[User Picture]From: [info]ferrouswheel
Tue, 27-Mar-2007 11:37 PM (UTC)

the cuff can be deflated for a prolonged period of time.

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I wonder what the use of that would be. hehehe
[User Picture]From: [info]jef_poskanzer
Wed, 28-Mar-2007 12:12 AM (UTC)

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Too bad they didn't give it a Bluetooth interface.
[User Picture]From: [info]jkonrath
Wed, 28-Mar-2007 2:22 PM (UTC)

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Yeah, except when somebody bluejacks you, you will shit in your pants. (Brownjacking?)
[User Picture]From: [info]netsharc
Wed, 28-Mar-2007 12:37 AM (UTC)

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"Cybernetic asshole" eh? Gotta remember that the next time I want to insult somebody...
[User Picture]From: [info]taffer
Wed, 28-Mar-2007 5:34 PM (UTC)

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"Acticon Neosphincter" is possibly the best product name in the history of the world. Although it was slightly better when I misread it as "Action Neosphincter"...
[User Picture]From: [info]lifelike001
Wed, 28-Mar-2007 10:08 PM (UTC)

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this is the second time ive said this here but uh, you COULD just go to the toilet.
[User Picture]From: [info]lifelike001
Wed, 28-Mar-2007 10:09 PM (UTC)

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taking into account of course that i skimmed over the words 'severe fecal incontinence'.