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Send. More. Paramedics.

[Thu, 26-Oct-2006 3:07 PM]

[	Tags	\|	parts	]
[	music	\|	Veruca Salt -- Centipede	]

Fire breaks out at Salt Lake crematorium

Fire officials said the six-hundred pound man was in being cremated when his body fluids were too much for the oven. The body fluids seeped out onto the floor and ignited causing a fire at the Garner Funeral Home in Salt Lake City. "Those fluids can be very flammable," said Scott Freitag of the Salt Lake City fire department. "Sort of like a grease fire."
The crematorium is back in business and the funeral director said they'll notify the family to assure them their loved one wasn't harmed.

Fire. In crematorium.

Dead man. Harmed.

link

Comments:

From:

lilmissnever
Thu, 26-Oct-2006 10:11 PM (UTC)

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So is this your entry into the Six-Word Story Contest?

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From:

jwz
Thu, 26-Oct-2006 10:12 PM (UTC)

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Not on purpose, but apparently so.

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From:

bdu
Thu, 26-Oct-2006 10:30 PM (UTC)

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JWZ posts comment, being meta again.

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From:

flipping_hades
Thu, 26-Oct-2006 11:56 PM (UTC)

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stop that. you're hurting my brain.

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From:

jovino
Fri, 27-Oct-2006 12:49 AM (UTC)

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What are you all talking about?

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From:

ged
Fri, 27-Oct-2006 1:35 AM (UTC)

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http://wired.com/wired/archive/14.11/sixwords.html

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From:

jovino
Fri, 27-Oct-2006 2:49 AM (UTC)

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I think you missed my humor.

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From:

flipping_hades
Fri, 27-Oct-2006 5:48 AM (UTC)

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Subtle humor breeds noncomprehension. Oh, humanity!

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From:

jovino
Fri, 27-Oct-2006 6:40 AM (UTC)

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It wasn't that bad. Was it?

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From:

flipping_hades
Fri, 27-Oct-2006 6:48 AM (UTC)

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In this day, who can say?

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From:

line_noise
Wed, 1-Nov-2006 12:49 AM (UTC)

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Stop, please, for the love of . . . Bugger!

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From:

sschmitt
Thu, 26-Oct-2006 10:21 PM (UTC)

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This would make a good six-word story for that thing that is going around LJ/Wired.

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From:

mooflyfoof
Thu, 26-Oct-2006 10:27 PM (UTC)

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We're made of meat. Ew.

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From:

jwz
Thu, 26-Oct-2006 10:34 PM (UTC)

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We're grease fires waiting to happen.

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From:

bitwise
Thu, 26-Oct-2006 10:55 PM (UTC)

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For safety reasons, we must require all fat people to be made into soap.

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From:

dachte
Thu, 26-Oct-2006 11:01 PM (UTC)

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Let's make butter. I know how.

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From:

lrainey
Fri, 27-Oct-2006 12:27 AM (UTC)

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Ok...EW!!
I'm with the soap person...

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From:

jamie_f
Thu, 26-Oct-2006 11:04 PM (UTC)

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The first rule of The Big & Tall Mormon Shop 'n Soap Company is... etc. etc.

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From:

samidha
Fri, 27-Oct-2006 2:47 AM (UTC)

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I am going to hell for how hard I laughed at that. (Yay!)

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From:

no_brakes23
Fri, 27-Oct-2006 8:23 AM (UTC)

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Heez nem wass Robert Polson

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From:

encapsulate
Fri, 27-Oct-2006 12:04 AM (UTC)

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We should be banned from airlines. Or atleast, humans should only be allowed on in volumes of less than 3oz, and only in ziploc baggies.

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

From:

pete23
Thu, 26-Oct-2006 10:52 PM (UTC)

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the human body is just a big wet tallow candle, realistically.

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From:

mooflyfoof
Thu, 26-Oct-2006 10:55 PM (UTC)

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Especially in America.

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From:

flipping_hades
Fri, 27-Oct-2006 2:37 AM (UTC)

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Who needs elections? New combustible candidates!

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From:

no_brakes23
Fri, 27-Oct-2006 8:23 AM (UTC)

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Even moreso in Europe and China.

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From:

ladykalessia
Fri, 27-Oct-2006 12:22 AM (UTC)

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And not even all that wet, if the stories of spontaneous human combustion are to be believed.

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From:

capo_mojo
Thu, 26-Oct-2006 10:40 PM (UTC)

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Fat man burns. Film at 11.

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From:

jwz
Thu, 26-Oct-2006 10:45 PM (UTC)

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"It happens sometimes: people just explode."

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From:

kimberley66
Thu, 26-Oct-2006 11:28 PM (UTC)

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bhahahaaaa, . . .

can't stop laughing. . .

eyes watering. . . .

bahahahahhahaaaa

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

From:

keimel
Fri, 27-Oct-2006 12:31 AM (UTC)

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I was like that a few comments previous.... still continuing enough to have the wife wondering just what in the hell I found THIS time on the Internets.

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From:

kimberley66
Fri, 27-Oct-2006 1:07 AM (UTC)

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Well I was sitting at our reception desk when I found this earlier today. . . I'm still laughing. . .

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From:

valacosa
Fri, 27-Oct-2006 4:55 AM (UTC)

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Six words and ten syllables. Impressive.

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From:

edouardp
Fri, 27-Oct-2006 8:53 AM (UTC)

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Wow - 80s flashback! Must buy DVD...

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From:

dougygyro
Thu, 26-Oct-2006 10:53 PM (UTC)

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Just look out for the acid rain.

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From:

kimberley66
Thu, 26-Oct-2006 11:28 PM (UTC)

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This is the funniest thing T O D A Y!!!

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From:

lars_larsen
Thu, 26-Oct-2006 11:35 PM (UTC)

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Girl in my EMT class doing CPR:

Instructor: "Push harder, you need to compress at least 2-3 inches."
Girl: "Wont I break his ribs?"
Instructor: "He's DEAD! You cant hurt him"

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From:

kimberley66
Fri, 27-Oct-2006 1:06 AM (UTC)

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Good point! What's a few broken ribs when you're ALIVE again?

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From:

lars_larsen
Fri, 27-Oct-2006 5:49 AM (UTC)

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Personally, I dont even mind the cracking sound. They dont even notice it. They're dead.

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

From:

pavel_lishin
Fri, 27-Oct-2006 3:41 AM (UTC)

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I can't believe nobody commented on "the funeral director said they'll notify the family to assure them their loved one wasn't harmed".

"Don't worry, ma'am, despite the fire, the corpse you sent us to burn for you wasn't harmed."

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From:

jwz
Fri, 27-Oct-2006 3:44 AM (UTC)

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Nobody comment on that, huh? Wow.

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From:

pavel_lishin
Fri, 27-Oct-2006 4:09 AM (UTC)

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Well, except for the, err, comment in the post.

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From:

spendocrat
Fri, 27-Oct-2006 5:17 AM (UTC)

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I'm surprised it took so long.

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From:

thegreatdoogie
Fri, 27-Oct-2006 5:14 AM (UTC)

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Ironic that as I was reading this, I heard several sirens in the distance.

(Reply) (Thread)

From:

asan102
Fri, 27-Oct-2006 7:42 PM (UTC)

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I don't think that Irony means what you think it means.

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From:

treptoplax
Fri, 27-Oct-2006 5:24 PM (UTC)

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Solyent diesel is people!

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From:

kimberley66
Fri, 27-Oct-2006 9:15 PM (UTC)

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Ok you! GET outta my head!

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

From:

obsessed_folder
Tue, 31-Oct-2006 6:17 PM (UTC)

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six hundred pounds

I'm not going to take the lack of comments on that statistic as evidence that no one noticed, or that no one is surprised. but c'mon ... six hundred pounds.

ps: keep your pictures to yourselves.

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