maybe they should have had one of these signs posted where this happened

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Let's bring back the custom of not being seen outdoors without a hat.

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I've a friend who feels it is improper to leave the house without a hat -and- a bird:

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or a girlfriend

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No, he has one of those. Has had a few in the past, too, for quite a while each.

And since that picture was taken in my kitchen, with my fiancee's camera, featuring her bird, we were in on the humor.

Your comment, on the other hand, is somewhat asinine.

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But you gotta figure it was a pretty good day for the bird... you know he's got bragging rights down at the park today.

"Dude, I totally nailed this guy... it was wicked!"

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"And then later I found out it was the [Netscape hacker]* jwz!"

* or, "Xscreensaver hacker"? "DNA-Lounge owner"?

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Well, if the pigeon was a fanboy, I'm sure pooping on his head isn't the worst thing any fan has done to jwz.

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Some of the comments posted to this LJ are far less pleasant than having a pidgeon poop on your head.

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Yup, I've totally had that day.

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It's considered good luck.

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Yeah, but who wants that kind of luck?

Well, I suppose it's better luck to be crapped upon by a pigeon than a turkey vulture...

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I was walking home, and as I turned a corner, all of a sudden, it was raining. RAINING.

Had to have been a few dozen pigeons. I was inundated.

I just wanted to relate this story, so you can say 'well, I guess it could have been worse'.

Methinks that is the universe's ultimate message: It can always be worse.

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1994, 1998 and 2002, around the same day of the year (in the middle of the third week in July), I ate out with my father in a small town in Norway. Same restaurant, same exact table. All three times, at the same phase in the eatin' (when we're just about done), a pigeon shat on his glasses.

You can not make this stuff up. Although you would think he had learned in 2002.

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will there be a repeat in 2006?

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I, for one, hope so.

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Pigeon Poop Olympics, perhaps?

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that's supposed to bring you good luck...though I suspect that was made up to make you feel better about being covered in poop.

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I'm convinced that what it REALLY means is that it's good luck for EVERYONE ELSE. Because YOU got nailed, and THEY didn't.

I've done that Walk of Shame into the nearest bar demanding their bathroom and no I will not buy a beer because I JUST HAD A BIRD POOP ON ME CAN'T YOU UNDERSTAND MY NEEDS HERE. They pointed and snickered behind my back as I ran.

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The first time I visited Central Park, a pigeon shit on my forehead/hairline.

The water fountains and bathroom faucets were all broken and no store would let me use their bathroom. GOOD TIMES!

Hopefully you were easily and quickly cleaned up.

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Nature's conditioner.

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how far from running water? how far from ange with the camera?

suxville.

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Long ago, my elementary school class took a fieldtrip to Monkey Jungle. This is one of those really, really pathetic old tourist traps from the days when Florida was something other than a place where old people go to die.

Monkey Jungle is basically a really large cage, with a monkey 'habitat' inside. Through this cage there are some tunnel-ish structures that allow people to walk through. The sole entrance and exit to that, of course, is via a gift shop selling overpriced admission and trinkets.

One member of my class kept making stupid comments about how a particular species of monkey in the cage had a very prominent, hairless posterior, which was brilliantly cherry red. He called it 'the red-ass monkey'.

Well, wouldn't you know... the 'red-ass monkey' just happened to be right above him as we were leaving, and let it go on his head... from both orfices.

The scary part is, the monkey shit and piss actually made the bus smell better on the two-hour bus ride back to school. (School buses universally have the worst odor ever... b.o, diesel, and decaying vinyl.)

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It's a sign you shouldn't have gone outside.

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The late Herb Caen called them "rodents of the air."

Tom Lehrer wrote, "Poisoning Pigeons in the Park"

and to think that some people consider these fowl ... edible.

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Fowl is foul, just like offal is awful?

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I can tell from your facial hair that you're the kind of person who likes to talk about computers.

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Tom Lehrer rocks

"My pulse will be quickenin'
With each drop of strychnine
We feed to a pigeon.
It just takes a smidgin!
To poison a pigeon in the park."

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I believe that pigeons are in this country because they were brought over specifically to be eaten.

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And as fat as the majority of us are, we still haven't managed to consume them all. Blast!

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All we need is for McDonalds to carry a McPigeon Burger and we'd all be happier.

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The interweb has let us down, where are the pictures?

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how did a pidgeon get into the concrete fortress?

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the laser-guns and shield were down

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*whew*

You know how long it took to train a carrier pigeon to deliver that message?

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bleh, you need to carry a pellet gun now at all times.

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On my last voyage, somewhere in the middle of the Indian Ocean, there were two Albatross that were perching up on the foremast of the ship. That day I was tasked with freeing up all the vent-valves on the bow, and because of the wind, I was a little wary of such large birds bing perched high above me as I worked. So. So I whacked the mast with a pry bar until they took off, and started to fish. I set to work on my valves, and shortly there after, one of the Albatross let fly right atop my head. As I took out my bandana and was cursing the first bird out, the second one came on and hit me squarely on the neck. Guano drooling down my shirt.

Pigeons are lucky sometimes. Albatross are too crafty and accurate to be fucked with.

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Birdie, Birdie in the sky
Why'd you turdie in my eye
I'm big boy
I'll not cry
I'm just glad elephants don't fly.

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Oh pointy birds
oh pointy pointy
anoint my head
anointy nointy

    -- Steve Martin

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