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God Bless America [Tue, 8-Nov-2005 1:49 AM]
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[music |Cabaret Voltaire -- In Quest of the Unusual]

Cheerleaders had sex in bar, witnesses say:

Carolina Panthers cheerleaders, Renee Thomas, left, and Angela Keathley, shown in these Hillsborough County, Fla., Sheriff's Office booking photos, were arrested early Sunday, Nov. 6, 2005 after a bar dispute that broke out after patrons complained the women were allegedly having sex in a bathroom stall. [AP]

Thomas was charged with battery Sunday after allegedly striking a bar patron when she was leaving the restroom, then landed in even more trouble after police said she gave officers a driver's license belonging to another Panthers cheerleader who was not in Tampa. [...]

Keathley, charged with disorderly conduct and resisting arrest, was released on $750 bail about an hour before the Panthers played the Bucs at Raymond James Stadium. The cheerleaders were not in town to perform at the game.

Update, Feb 1: The Smoking Gun finally has the police report. "The statements, previously withheld by Tampa cops, tell of moaning, 'going down,' and eyes rolling back into one woman's head as Keathley and Thomas allegedly cavorted in a bathroom stall--much to the consternation of a long line of women waiting to use the facilities."
linkReply

Comments:
[User Picture]From: [info]deafscribe
Tue, 8-Nov-2005 10:19 AM (UTC)

(Link)

Ladies, ladies...I understand the urgency of your desire, but couldn't you have done it somewhere more comfortable, perhaps? Like on top of the bar counter?
[User Picture]From: [info]gutbloom
Tue, 8-Nov-2005 10:31 AM (UTC)

What a smart career move

(Link)

Say HELLO to talkshows, magazine exclusives and... keep your fingers crossed... a spot on a reality show. You watch, next month every NFL cheerleader will be having lesbonian sex in bathroom stalls.

patrons complained the women were allegedly having sex

I'd like to complain about the people complaining about sex in bathroom stalls. This can't be good for Florida tourism. What would Datona say?
[User Picture]From: [info]beerfrick
Tue, 8-Nov-2005 1:48 PM (UTC)

Re: What a smart career move

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"next month every NFL cheerleader will be having lesbonian sex in bathroom stalls."

is that like an Elbonian variant? Sounds exotic but considering Elbonians, not very hot.
[User Picture]From: [info]fgmr
Fri, 11-Nov-2005 12:28 AM (UTC)

Re: What a smart career move

(Link)

Say HELLO to talkshows, magazine exclusives...

Adult Magazine Courts Panthers Cheerleaders
[User Picture]From: [info]korgmeister
Tue, 8-Nov-2005 10:42 AM (UTC)

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That brunette just makes me think "Photoshop: A model's best friend."
[User Picture]From: [info]king_mob
Tue, 8-Nov-2005 1:41 PM (UTC)

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Nobody looks good in a mug shot, man.
[User Picture]From: [info]jeremiahblatz
Tue, 8-Nov-2005 2:58 PM (UTC)

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I was actually thinking that those were some of the most glamourous mug shots I've ever seen. Granted, the blonde fairs far better, but she's working at it more.
[User Picture]From: [info]rivetpepsquad
Tue, 8-Nov-2005 5:13 PM (UTC)

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you are now commanded to produce a mugshot of your own perfect, gorgeous nose, mister man.
[User Picture]From: [info]baconmonkey
Tue, 8-Nov-2005 7:29 PM (UTC)

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see, I was thinking the mugshots were surprisingly decent, and that the overly makeup-laden publicity shots were kinda scary.
[User Picture]From: [info]xenogram
Tue, 8-Nov-2005 12:51 PM (UTC)

(Link)

But, were there clowns?
[User Picture]From: [info]flipping_hades
Tue, 8-Nov-2005 3:16 PM (UTC)

(Link)

or midgets?
[User Picture]From: [info]ultranurd
Tue, 8-Nov-2005 5:01 PM (UTC)

(Link)

Danger! Danger! High voltage!
[User Picture]From: [info]belgand
Tue, 8-Nov-2005 3:58 PM (UTC)

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Dear god... who in the hell complains when cheerleaders are having having sex with each other? Was it because they weren't wearing their uniforms while doing it? Was it because they were being all private about it in the bathroom and not doing it on a table out front for all to see?

This is truly a fucked-up country we live in.
[User Picture]From: [info]korgmeister
Tue, 8-Nov-2005 4:35 PM (UTC)

(Link)

I presume the answer to your question was "the straight woman in the stall next to them" =P
[User Picture]From: [info]center
Wed, 9-Nov-2005 1:16 AM (UTC)

(Link)

all the guys who didn't get to watch.
[User Picture]From: [info]ubiquity75
Tue, 8-Nov-2005 4:17 PM (UTC)

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I was pretty much under the impression that the ladies' room in bars is the appropriate place to go when wanting to fool around with another girl. But maybe that says something about the bars I frequent...
[User Picture]From: [info]phoenixredux
Tue, 8-Nov-2005 4:39 PM (UTC)

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Next time they should use the men's room. I'll bet that none of the men would have complained.
[User Picture]From: [info]mactavish
Tue, 8-Nov-2005 4:39 PM (UTC)

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I could click through, I suppose, but my first thought was "sex with each other, or someone else?"
[User Picture]From: [info]baconmonkey
Tue, 8-Nov-2005 7:32 PM (UTC)

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Dear JWZ,
This has not happened at DNA.
Yyou are not adequately doing your job.
Please rectify the situation ASAP.

sincerely,
DNA Staff.
[User Picture]From: [info]rivetpepsquad
Tue, 8-Nov-2005 7:40 PM (UTC)

(Link)

perhaps you should discuss this with the cheerleaders.
[User Picture]From: [info]diemoniker
Tue, 8-Nov-2005 8:44 PM (UTC)

I love that you got those mug shots from the China Daily News site

(Link)

I was touring a TV station yesterday with one of my classes, and while they were blathering on to us about how all people want is local news and good video, it comes out that this is one of the most popular stories of the morning, even though it is a) not local and b) has no video. Cheerleader sex (alleged) trumps all.

I want a made-for-tv movie, in the style of "Saving Jessica Lynch."
[User Picture]From: [info]jwz
Tue, 8-Nov-2005 8:46 PM (UTC)

Re: I love that you got those mug shots from the China Daily News site

(Link)

"Shaving Ryan's Privates"?
[User Picture]From: [info]cetan
Wed, 9-Nov-2005 5:13 AM (UTC)

up and down

(Link)

"Panthers cheerleaders thrown off squad following arrest"
http://abcnews.go.com/Sports/ESPNSports/story?id=1293376

followed quickly by:

"Ex-cheerleaders get offer to pose, report says - Adult magazine Penthouse reportedly wants Thomas, Keathley to bare all"
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/9956517/
[User Picture]From: [info]sherbooke
Wed, 9-Nov-2005 2:26 PM (UTC)

Re: up and down

(Link)

My first thought on seeing that they were fired was "how could they?" I mean, free publicity, right? Isn't this what leaders of cheer do? Or have I been watching the wrong football^H^H^Hmovies?

Then a set by Penthouse.

Ah, yes, America. Land of my dreams...
From: [info]raemus
Wed, 9-Nov-2005 9:58 PM (UTC)

(Link)

For some bizarre reason, I keep reading `Panthers' as `panties'.
[User Picture]From: [info]joel
Wed, 9-Nov-2005 11:12 PM (UTC)

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You kept reading 'Panties' as 'panties', what?
[User Picture]From: [info]marmoset
Thu, 10-Nov-2005 9:27 AM (UTC)

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I find it hard to believe that no one has noted the following:

According to the Panthers' official team Web site on NFL.com, Keathley is a registered nurse and second-year member of the TopCats. Thomas is listed as a student at the University of North Carolina-Charlotte and first-year member of the cheerleading squad.


...which would make this hot-lesbonian-nurse-on-college-student-cheerleader-sex.