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oh, the oniony goodness [Tue, 13-Sep-2005 5:24 PM]
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Halliburton Gets Contract To Pry Gold Fillings From New Orleans Corpses' Teeth

HOUSTON -- On Tuesday, Halliburton received a $110 million no-bid government contract to pry the gold fillings from the mouths of deceased disaster victims in the New Orleans-Gulf Coast area. "We are proud to serve the government in this time of crisis by recovering valuable resources from the wreckage of this deadly storm," said David J. Lesar, Halliburton's president. "The gold we recover from the human rubble of Katrina can be used to make fighter-jet electronics, supercomputer chips, inflation-proof A-grade investments, and luxury yachting watches."
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: [info]nerak_g
Wed, 14-Sep-2005 12:33 AM (UTC)

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WHA----???
[User Picture]From: [info]nerak_g
Wed, 14-Sep-2005 12:34 AM (UTC)

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Oh, the ONion! had me for a sec! >}:-D
[User Picture]From: [info]lars_larsen
Wed, 14-Sep-2005 2:21 AM (UTC)

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He had me for about 2 sentences :)

Scary how plausible that is.
[User Picture]From: [info]mactavish
Wed, 14-Sep-2005 12:34 AM (UTC)

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I hate when I have to check to make sure that's the Onion.
[User Picture]From: [info]ralesk
Wed, 14-Sep-2005 12:37 AM (UTC)

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Ohhhh, seconded.
[User Picture]From: [info]valacosa
Wed, 14-Sep-2005 2:41 AM (UTC)

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Today's Onion, tomorrow's Washington Post.
[User Picture]From: [info]mendel
Wed, 14-Sep-2005 1:24 AM (UTC)

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[expression of shock]
[User Picture]From: [info]mendel
Wed, 14-Sep-2005 1:24 AM (UTC)

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[discovery of onion]
[User Picture]From: [info]satarnion
Wed, 14-Sep-2005 1:30 AM (UTC)

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Have you posted this yet?

Tongue-eating bug found in fish
[User Picture]From: [info]curious_jp
Wed, 14-Sep-2005 8:11 AM (UTC)

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Christ almighty I hate those things. Growing up in Australia, we called them "Doctors", for some reason or other. A real pain if you were catch-and-release fishing, as you really have to kill these things on sight, and there's no way to do so without killing the fish as well.
[User Picture]From: [info]rambletron3000
Wed, 14-Sep-2005 1:48 PM (UTC)

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Open your mouth and say "ahh."
[User Picture]From: [info]patrick
Wed, 14-Sep-2005 2:09 AM (UTC)

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Thank God someone is finding use from the human rubble of Katrina!
[User Picture]From: [info]cadmus
Wed, 14-Sep-2005 2:20 AM (UTC)

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They remind me of this.
[User Picture]From: [info]ciphergoth
Wed, 14-Sep-2005 4:32 AM (UTC)

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Dear Onion, please stop exploring my plausibility double-takes. Thanks, everyone on [info]jwz's friends list.