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They're meat-scented. MEAT-SCENTED!
... scented?
Next they need meat-flavored, you know, for when ol' Yeller's feeling in the mood for some oral from that skanky bitch Puffy down the street.
I love the psychological effects of them choosing the identical colors and fonts that Trojan uses.
I mean, everyone knew they were condoms before even reading the package, right?
Or could it be a photoshopped hoax? I mean come on. DUH!
Besides the "this is too creepy to be true" feeling, an obvious giveaway is "Dog Condoms®". You can't register a trademark for something that describes the product. That would be like me starting a laptop business and registering "Laptop Computer®".
Good point. I didnt notice that. The "this is too creepy to be true" thing isnt enough to prove its a hoax. After all, Neuticles are real.
![[User Picture]](http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/5488035/952805) | From: flim_flam Tue, 9-Aug-2005 8:46 AM (UTC)
Pirate Dog's Nads | (Link)
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It's now in the Press Release archive on their site, but this press release made me blink the first time I saw the Neuticles pages a few years ago:
Counterfeiters Target Patented Neuticles For Pets "They Are Stealing Everything" Says Inventor
Released June 26, 2000
For one thing, the article has a caption for the picture, calling it a prototype. So yeah, it's not a photograph.
For another, it's got a FAQ: What About Female Condoms for Bitches?
Nah, I had to look. But I use Ansells.
Possibly the best thing ever.
I'm confused. Are they "FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE" or are they being recalled?
"For immediate release" refers to the press release itself, not the product.
Maybe it's a slogan, about satisfying doggie urges quickly.
I'm not sure if you're joking, but I was.
Hmm, I wonder if they've got a built in knot space instead of a reservoir tip.
Okay, I wasn't grossed out by this until you said that.
Obviously, they need to redesign to make better use of the knot if they're having failures in the field.
So every time a stray dog wants to come along and hump my leg, I have to stop him and tell him to put a condom on otherwise it is not on?
Coming soon: Trojans..for horses.
No links handy, but such things really do exist.
am I the only one who thinks these things are only thinly veiled as for dog-to-dog use? think about it...
See above - they exist for horses, why don't dogs get them too?
Because dogs don't produce enough ejaculate that you can't fluff them functionally without a bag to put it in.
Well, actually...
The canine sexual response is, for whatever reason, significantly different from what is seen in most other mammals. Ejaculation begins shortly after arousal, but mating continues for up to 15 minutes, as a portion of the male's sexual organ swells into what is commonly known as the "knot", physically locking him within the female. Horses, on the other hand, respond much like humans do - if anything, one would probably end up with more of a mess "fluffing" a dog than with a stallion.
(Yes, I know a disturbing amount about this. Yes, I have my reasons, and you can probably figure them out, too. Yes, you may feel free to flame me for them.)
Brought to you by the same folks who created MasturbateForPeace.com and ViagraPhilosophy.com
This has got to be a joke. I mean, in light of how things work with the dog.
Actually, it's pretty reasonable, as long as you can come up with a good way of putting the thing on before things, ah, get started.
No, what I was thinking of was the, uh, mechanics of the dog's, uh, mechanics.
Oh, hell, enough coyness. The dog's penis actually telescopes and gets longer. Which means if you put a condom on it before things get started, the condom will be too large and fall off.
Of course, if this is real and not a hoax, maybe there's a way around that. Is there a veterinarian in the house?
I just had a vision of Dr. Ruth for canines. Dog help us all (I'm dyslexic).
Actually, not exactly. The dog's penis doesn't "telescope", exactly - there's a bone, the os penis, in it*, so the length can't vary all that much. What you're probably thinking of is the extension of the penis from the prepuce, commonly known as the "sheath". It's a significantly different erectile process from that seen in humans.
(Again: I know much more about this than you'd expect, and some minor research will show why. You'd probably rather not*** know, though.)
*: Interestingly enough, this structure is found in most** mammals except the primates. **: The only other exceptions I can think of are the horse and the dolphin. ***: knot? Eehee.
From: irma_vep Thu, 11-Aug-2005 9:26 PM (UTC)
enticement | (Link)
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Maybe we should put opiates in condoms for humans, so guys will want to use them more...... | |