jwz - Monkey Fluffer

jwz - Monkey Fluffer

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Monkey Fluffer

[Fri, 17-Jun-2005 8:13 PM]

[	Tags	\|	monkeys, perversions	]
[	music	\|	Love Spirals Downwards -- Ring	]

Fluffer Girl Sought for Prize Orangutang

Reply to: anon-77674915@craigslist.org Date: 2005-06-08, 11:15AM EDT
I represent a nationally recognized zoo. Due to the curious nature of this request, I cannot disclose the name of the zoo. Please believe this offer is for real. We recently purchased a female orangutang to mate with our prize male. The problem is a couple of animal trainers were having relations with the male. He has since lost all interest in mating with females of his species. The zoo I represent has authorized me to offer $10,000 to a woman that can "fluff" the male and get him to inseminate the female. Your identity will be completely secret and every effort will be made to keep this from the press. You and I will meet only once. You will be shown pictures of the orangutang at that meeting. I cannot email you a pic in advance as he is very famous and quite recognizable. The only other person that will see you is one of the animal trainers. He will be standing by with a tranquilizer gun in case the female gets jealous, or the male gets a little too rough. You can let the trainer know up front whether you are into the rough stuff. We are anticipating a huge response, so to save time please include a pic and brief bio/resume. I can share these with the orangutang in advance. All info. sent will be destroyed. Thank you and the millions of youngsters who will love to see any baby orangs you help bring into existence thank you.
You need to be able to host, or we can do this in a mutually agreed upon hotel.

link

Comments:

From:

otterley
Fri, 17-Jun-2005 8:16 PM (UTC)

(Link)

Were you searching for "fluffer" or "orangutang" when you found this? ;-)

(Reply) (Thread)

From:

causticjb
Fri, 17-Jun-2005 8:24 PM (UTC)

(Link)

I was wondering the same thing..

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

From:

baconmonkey
Sat, 18-Jun-2005 5:27 AM (UTC)

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AND

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread) (Expand)

(no subject) -

kw34hd1 Expand

From:

usufructer
Fri, 17-Jun-2005 8:25 PM (UTC)

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Will joke listings ever go out of style on craigslist?

Which zine do you think this is for?

(Reply) (Thread)

From:

sunshine__girl
Fri, 17-Jun-2005 8:34 PM (UTC)

(Link)

That's hilarious. An orangutang a hotel. You'd think they'd at least arrange to meet at a local zoo. ;)

(Reply) (Thread)

From:

duskwuff
Fri, 17-Jun-2005 8:36 PM (UTC)

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"We are anticipating a huge response, so to save time please include a pic and brief bio/resume. I can share these with the orangutang in advance."

Three guesses as to whether the "ourangutang" is actually a very fat, hairy man.

(Reply) (Thread)

From:

lars_larsen
Fri, 17-Jun-2005 8:43 PM (UTC)

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Once you go Homo Sapien, you never go back.

(Reply) (Thread)

From:

7leaguebootdisk
Fri, 17-Jun-2005 11:27 PM (UTC)

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Intelligence is sexy, and I guess that is true more broadly than we thought.

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

From:

chaobell
Fri, 17-Jun-2005 9:15 PM (UTC)

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WHAT

I'd hoist the bullshit flag, but you can't make shit like this up.

(Reply) (Thread)

From:

flipping_hades
Fri, 17-Jun-2005 9:20 PM (UTC)

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Actually, yes, you totally can.

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

From:

chaobell
Fri, 17-Jun-2005 9:26 PM (UTC)

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Well, yes, you're right. But it's a little less painful for me to consider that there really is an orangutan with a human fetish out there than to imagine some dude sitting on the couch thinking hmm, how can I fuck with the craigslist people today? ...monkeys! No, wait, monkeys are played out. ...ooo, I know, monkeys with erectile dysfunction! New twist! I like it!

LEAVE ME IN MY DELUSIONAL BUBBLE I BEG YOU.

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

From:

strspn
Fri, 17-Jun-2005 11:42 PM (UTC)

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New here?

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

From:

sneakums
Sat, 18-Jun-2005 4:07 AM (UTC)

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Statistically speaking, one can be either new or banned.

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

From:

baconmonkey
Sat, 18-Jun-2005 5:30 AM (UTC)

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it's a little less painful for me to consider that there really is an orangutan with a human fetish out there

hey, if that's what it takes to get it up...

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

From:

bloodied_velvet
Fri, 17-Jun-2005 10:27 PM (UTC)

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I think I am a little more concerned on your tags for this. Wicked underpants??

(Reply) (Thread)

From:

eqe
Fri, 17-Jun-2005 11:36 PM (UTC)

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The asshats are in full effect.

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

From:

tregoweth
Sat, 18-Jun-2005 9:50 AM (UTC)

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I'm pleased to see that the "bad ideas" tag I added to the original tags post is getting more use.

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

From:

ciphergoth
Sat, 18-Jun-2005 12:15 AM (UTC)

(Link)

You can let the trainer know up front whether you are into the rough stuff.

(Reply) (Thread)

From:

baconmonkey
Sat, 18-Jun-2005 5:32 AM (UTC)

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you know stuff like this is just gonna get MORE furries reading your journal, right?

(Reply) (Thread)

From:

joel
Mon, 20-Jun-2005 7:50 AM (UTC)

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Statistically speaking, one can be either new or banned.

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

From:

korgmeister
Sat, 18-Jun-2005 6:20 AM (UTC)

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You need to be able to host, or we can do this in a mutually agreed upon hotel.

Oh man, how much would it rule to be a fly on the wall at that check-in desk?

(Reply) (Thread)

From:

lovingboth
Sat, 18-Jun-2005 6:39 AM (UTC)

Ook?

(Link)

Just how many "very famous" orangutangs are there?

If this were a real issue, they'd use artificial insemination, or in the UK, make it part of a 'celebrity' show: "She's shagged the UK's most famous footballer and masturbated a pig on TV - this time it's primate!"

(Reply) (Thread)