jwz - my little friend, for one, welcomes his new robot overlord [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
jwz

  www.jwz.org
  userinfo
  archive
  rss

Links
[»| [DNA Lounge] [Blog] [iCal] ]
[»| [DNA Lounge Legal Defense Fund] ]
[»| [WebCollage] [LJ WebCollage] ]

my little friend, for one, welcomes his new robot overlord [Wed, 6-Apr-2005 4:25 PM]
Previous Entry Add to Memories Tell a Friend Next Entry
[Tags|, , ]
[music |Dieselboy -- Invid (E-Sassin VIP)]


"Shakeutron
will never judge you. Shakeutron is here to help. Shakeutron would like to buy you a nice steak dinner. Shakeutron did not mean to offend you. Shakeutron would like you to come back. Shakeutron cries 1.5 gallons of tears."

linkReply

Comments:
[User Picture]From: [info]airmax
Wed, 6-Apr-2005 4:42 PM (UTC)

wow.

(Link)

is it doing _this_ job?
[User Picture]From: [info]xenogram
Wed, 6-Apr-2005 7:44 PM (UTC)

Re: wow.

(Link)

Sorry, a what-job?
From: [info]rnd_user_name
Wed, 6-Apr-2005 4:43 PM (UTC)

I, for one, welcome our robotic urinal overlords

(Link)

***ATTENTION***ATTENTION***ATTENTION***

SHAKEUTRON COMMANDS ALL HUMAN MALES TO
REPORT AT SECTOR 8 FOR FORCED URINATION.

***ATTENTION***ATTENTION***ATTENTION***
[User Picture]From: [info]g_na
Wed, 6-Apr-2005 4:45 PM (UTC)

(Link)

*blink*

I think Shakeutron's manufacturer needs to go into business with Fucking Machines.
[User Picture]From: [info]nosrialleon
Wed, 6-Apr-2005 4:46 PM (UTC)

(Link)

"Sir, did you know that you're leaking fluid at an alarming rate?"
[User Picture]From: [info]pavel_lishin
Wed, 6-Apr-2005 5:27 PM (UTC)

(Link)

"Let me just patch you up with some hot resin!"
[User Picture]From: [info]sleepsheep
Wed, 6-Apr-2005 8:54 PM (UTC)

(Link)

"My friend and I have to go and perform some mindless repetitive tasks."
[User Picture]From: [info]mackys
Wed, 6-Apr-2005 4:50 PM (UTC)

NO!

(Link)

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111!!!bang!!!!
[User Picture]From: [info]xed_geek
Wed, 6-Apr-2005 5:02 PM (UTC)

(Link)

This could go horribly horribly wrong!
OUCH!
Bad!
[User Picture]From: [info]ralesk
Wed, 6-Apr-2005 5:05 PM (UTC)

(Link)

Does it wash its hands after its previous user?
[User Picture]From: [info]33mhz
Wed, 6-Apr-2005 5:08 PM (UTC)

(Link)

Shake u tron! I just can't shake... u tron!
[User Picture]From: [info]fighterjock_311
Wed, 6-Apr-2005 5:14 PM (UTC)

(Link)

Mark my words, Japan had something to do with this.
[User Picture]From: [info]coldacid
Wed, 6-Apr-2005 5:25 PM (UTC)

(Link)

Going to get one for the club?
[User Picture]From: [info]pavel_lishin
Wed, 6-Apr-2005 5:26 PM (UTC)

(Link)

I will never put my penis in a robot.

Again.
[User Picture]From: [info]ilovezombies
Wed, 6-Apr-2005 5:42 PM (UTC)

(Link)

Even that scares me. It's just wrong!
[User Picture]From: [info]ralesk
Wed, 6-Apr-2005 5:42 PM (UTC)

(Link)

This just occured me, Shakeutron is somewhat of an icon of watersports, don’t you think?
[User Picture]From: [info]edlang
Wed, 6-Apr-2005 5:57 PM (UTC)

(Link)

You'd hope that the hands time out if the sensor malfunctions, otherwise it'll really have you by the balls.

Not that the sensors would ever malfunction.
[User Picture]From: [info]valentwine
Wed, 6-Apr-2005 6:25 PM (UTC)

(Link)

They should install one of these as Marcel Duchamp's headstone.

Shakeutron to Japanese: STAND CLOSER PUNY HUMAN, IT'S SHORTER THAN YOU THINK.
[User Picture]From: [info]pfrank
Wed, 6-Apr-2005 7:57 PM (UTC)

(Link)

Is that a little camera pointing at the, uh, target area? Strictly for positioning I'm sure. The video doesn't get saved anywhere at all, nope.
[User Picture]From: [info]stillcarl
Wed, 6-Apr-2005 10:53 PM (UTC)

(Link)

Hmmm - telepresence?
[User Picture]From: [info]sleepsheep
Wed, 6-Apr-2005 8:59 PM (UTC)

(Link)

Shake, shake, shake
Shake, shake, shake
Shake your... oh HELL NO! I'll just do it myself.
[User Picture]From: [info]phoenixredux
Wed, 6-Apr-2005 9:16 PM (UTC)

(Link)

So one day somebody said, "You know, the biggest problem I have in life that could be fixed with a little bit of technology is that I just hate touching my penis. If only a robot could do it for me!"

It makes you wonder what they do when they use a bathroom without a Shakeutron.
[User Picture]From: [info]airmax
Thu, 7-Apr-2005 2:58 AM (UTC)

from that point of view,

(Link)

it could be supposed that this one was a woman... imagine feminists breeding up a generation of man addicted to robo-urinal, soft, controlled, helpless dying of urinal-blow if they can't find a shakeutronned bathroom.

brrr.
[User Picture]From: [info]phoenixredux
Thu, 7-Apr-2005 7:18 AM (UTC)

Re: from that point of view,

(Link)

It's long been my view that most urinals are desgined by man-hating women in the first place. You might be onto something.
[User Picture]From: [info]valacosa
Wed, 6-Apr-2005 10:40 PM (UTC)

(Link)

I never thought of the shakedown as a two handed job, yet this robot has two arms. What's the other arm for? Cuppage?

I'll be damned if I let a publicly used robot cup my nuts.
[User Picture]From: [info]jwz
Thu, 7-Apr-2005 12:59 AM (UTC)

(Link)

I assumed the other hand was for the zipper. Or perhaps it has an optional hernia check feature.
[User Picture]From: [info]d1663m
Wed, 6-Apr-2005 11:25 PM (UTC)

(Link)

Yah, I don't see anywhere that it could wash its hands. Except in its own bowl. No thanks. Besides, some guys I know would feel obliged to help it "wash" its hands... and camera... uh.. maybe the floor some too.
[User Picture]From: [info]jwm
Thu, 7-Apr-2005 3:46 AM (UTC)

(Link)

Reminds me of the talkative toilet from Lazarus Churchyard.

[User Picture]From: [info]iota
Thu, 7-Apr-2005 6:50 PM (UTC)

(Link)

i hope this thing is like R2-D2, where an angry midget hides inside a robot all day working with dicks.