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Fatal Frame 2: I want that hour back [Sun, 14-Nov-2004 3:25 PM]
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[music |Usherhouse -- Body Politic]

Several people have been raving about Fatal Frame 2, using phrases like "really scary" and "a lot of fun." You play this little anime girl wandering around in the woods and an old house, and (I gather) the point is to use this magic camera to take pictures of ghosts and solve some mystery. It's very dark (in the "hard to see" sense) and there is adequately creepy music. But here's how I spent the first hour of the game: wandering around an empty (presumably haunted) house and getting lost every time I walked ten feet. The observer perspective changes all the time, so I kept losing track of where the door was! I spent half my time trying to figure out how to leave the room I had just entered. When I finally managed to re-find the main entrance, the game told me that I wasn't done exploring the house yet. It took me 45 minutes just to find the damned camera!

What a colossal waste of time. It felt like playing a first person shooter with no weapons and no enemies, where all there was to do was wander around the map. It would have been scarier and more challenging just to wander around my apartment with a blindfold on.

What is it with video games trying to be even more boring than real life? My understanding was that Kids Today have short attention spans; how do they tolerate this bullshit?

This was pretty much my experience with whichever of the Grand Theft Auto games I played, too: I understand that the point of the game is killing people and beating up prostitutes or something, but it wanted me to go through some "training mission" deal before letting me actually play, and the point of that seemed to be, "drive a car from point A to point B, and drive slowly and carefully enough that you don't bump into too many fire hydrants, or you have to start over." Wow, that's great fun, let me tell you. Drive slow and don't hit things. I have an actual car in which I can play that game!

Someone brought over the PS2 version of The Sims once, and it was even more SimKafka than the others! Ok, what can I do here... "Let's have a party! Start making phone calls. Oh no, now I'm hungry. Oh wait, the cat shit on the floor. Oh, now I'm tired. Now I'm poor. The toilet is starting to smell. My friends say I'm neglecting them." What the FUCK? People do this for fun? I think actual SimKafka would be more entertaining than this: "you wake up. You are a giant insect." Turn over. "You cannot turn over." Call for help. "You have no mouth and you must scream."

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Comments:
[User Picture]From: [info]loosechanj
Sun, 14-Nov-2004 11:36 PM (UTC)

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The difference is, Real Life requires you to exert yourself. Wandering around your apartment blindfolded would burn calories. As would throwing a party or driving. Thanks to the miracle of computers you can now do all these things while not risking any weight loss whatsoever.
[User Picture]From: [info]substitute
Sun, 14-Nov-2004 11:49 PM (UTC)

agreed

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There's a kind of psychotic Gamerthink that says: games should be hard enough to hurt. So we have flight simulators where you have to go through ground school, or farming games(!) that take an entire growing season in real time, racing games where you have to drive a jalopy for a year before they give you the Ferrari.

I figure I spent $150 for the console and $50 for the game and I'm entitled to instant fuckin' gratification. I demand Mach 2 air combat and flat-out formula 1 cars immediately!
[User Picture]From: [info]brad
Sun, 14-Nov-2004 11:57 PM (UTC)

Re: agreed

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Link us to these farming games you speak of!
[User Picture]From: [info]neevita
Sun, 14-Nov-2004 11:57 PM (UTC)

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I completely agree about fatal frame 2. I had it for two days and sold it off. Total waste of time.
[User Picture]From: [info]abates
Mon, 15-Nov-2004 12:33 AM (UTC)

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I had a similar experience with Black and White. It was a promising concept - you get to be a god. However they don't tell you that it's not one of those "create everything, then slack off forever and poke the funny meat creatures occasaionally" deals.

You get a bunch of people to worship you who can't do much for themselves, and then you get this animal avatar thing you have to train, etc, etc... If I wanted that, I'd just get a pet.

[User Picture]From: [info]mark242
Mon, 15-Nov-2004 6:42 PM (UTC)

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Does this sound familiar?

"Control either good or evil people and destroy the other. You, as God, can raise and lower the land, make earthquakes, floods, plagues, volcano eruptions... As Your people grow, Your powers grow and then You can [...]"

That's the game of the year in 1989, called Populous. Molyneux will never be able to top his first god simulator. It astounds me that Populous is 15 years old and still plays far better than most games today.
[User Picture]From: [info]ivorjawa
Mon, 15-Nov-2004 12:33 AM (UTC)

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I think actual SimKafka would be more entertaining than this: "you wake up. You are a giant insect." Turn over. "You cannot turn over." Call for help. "You have no mouth and you must scream."

Thank you. It's been a really horrible day, and I really needed that laugh.
[User Picture]From: [info]samidha
Mon, 15-Nov-2004 12:39 AM (UTC)

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Dude. SimKafka would rock SO MUCH MORE.

I totally agree with you about The Sims. (I haven't played Fatal Frame 2. Although your description reminds me of the time I rented...Resident Evil, I think? The cutscenes were sort of entertaining. The actual gameplay was like... YOU ARE IN A HOUSE. YOU CAN'T SEE ANYTHING. OMG LIKE THERE IS A KNIFE! THIS IS THE CRAPPIEST WEAPON IN THE GAME BUT IT IS WHAT YOU GOT. GET THE KNIFE. ATTACK ZOMBIE WITH KNIFE. OH YOU'RE DEAD. I mean, I suck at video games, but it wasn't just me. I had a skilled gamer playing with me.
[User Picture]From: [info]taffer
Mon, 15-Nov-2004 7:49 PM (UTC)

bleh

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I tried Resident Evil when the GameCube remake was released, since it seems to be lauded as the "best" survival horror title ever.

The "awesome" control scheme, which is apparently still standard for Resident Evil games, made me decide to avoid anything marketed as a survival horror title.
[User Picture]From: [info]jfedor
Mon, 15-Nov-2004 12:40 AM (UTC)

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[User Picture]From: [info]luserspaz
Mon, 15-Nov-2004 2:21 PM (UTC)

The Sims

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Bored me to tears. It was an interesting concept for like 5 minutes, then I realized I had to tell my sim to use the bathroom. Jesus. If I wanted to worry about banal shit I would play a game called real life.
[User Picture]From: [info]schnee
Mon, 15-Nov-2004 1:07 AM (UTC)

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SimKafka sounds great. :)
[User Picture]From: [info]batmite2000
Mon, 15-Nov-2004 1:10 AM (UTC)

The Sims

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You are my hero. :)
[User Picture]From: [info]violentbloom
Mon, 15-Nov-2004 1:28 AM (UTC)

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and this the summary of why video games bore me...plus it makes your hands hurt.
From: [info]drtesko
Mon, 15-Nov-2004 1:29 AM (UTC)

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try Illbleed for dreamcast sometime. the object is to make it through a fun house, identifying all the places that startle the character. the good thing about this is there are plenty of enemies that apon hitting you cause a comical fountain of blood to come out. it's japanariffic!
[User Picture]From: [info]jwz
Mon, 15-Nov-2004 1:30 AM (UTC)

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Um, no.
[User Picture]From: [info]gblake
Mon, 15-Nov-2004 1:31 AM (UTC)

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You won't have to wait much longer! There's an old PC game being re-released where you wake up as a cockroach: http://www.insidemacgames.com/news/story.php?ArticleID=10272
[User Picture]From: [info]batmite2000
Mon, 15-Nov-2004 1:43 AM (UTC)

Bad Mojo

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I actually bought that when it came out! :)
It was very entertaining!

I should try it to see if it runs under windows 2000...
[User Picture]From: [info]rubber_shirt
Mon, 15-Nov-2004 1:39 AM (UTC)

Meh

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I find video games are great wastes of time, but they are great if you have a lot of time you need to waste.
From: [info]wire_on_fire
Mon, 15-Nov-2004 2:19 AM (UTC)

Amusingly enough....

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[User Picture]From: [info]kreeg_attack
Mon, 15-Nov-2004 3:24 AM (UTC)

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Hmmm. Sim Kafka does sound interesting. I also want to see Sim Joseph Conrad. Meeting neighbors while surrounded by the waste, folly, and violence of Belgian colonialism. It would be better than chicken.
[User Picture]From: [info]mister_borogove
Mon, 15-Nov-2004 3:26 AM (UTC)

drive fast and hit things

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I've been playing Burnout 3: Takedown on PS2 for a few days now. It encourages you to drive fast and hit things. There are several different play modes in single player so you can mix it up a little depending on whether you just want to choreograph massive 30-car pileups or would rather actually race. If GTA3 didn't give you the immediate gratification you were looking for, you might give it a try.

Disclaimer: I work for EA, but didn't have anything to do with this particular game.
From: [info]drtesko
Mon, 15-Nov-2004 12:36 PM (UTC)

Re: drive fast and hit things

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took me 60 hours to beat that game (according to the profile) and then it got real boring =/
[User Picture]From: [info]myoldself
Mon, 15-Nov-2004 3:55 AM (UTC)

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As the stereotype of video games being played only by losers with no friends goes away, game companies seem to be trying harder and harder to make games that only a total loser with no friends would ever be able to complete. Somebody is very wrong about who's playing video games these days.

SimCity 4 is one of the worst sequels I've ever run across. Almost all of the new features just restrict the gameplay and make it less fun than the first three SimCity games. I'd almost think that was their goal all along.
From: [info]edge_walker
Mon, 15-Nov-2004 4:01 AM (UTC)

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The point of shit like The Sims is that it's your own self-made soap opera. I don't understand why people watch soap operas or Big Brother or Survivor or trash like that either, but they seem to love to, for some reason.
[User Picture]From: [info]jkonrath
Mon, 15-Nov-2004 4:42 AM (UTC)

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I'm waiting for SimLiveJournal, where your character is SimBrad and does stuff like buy new servers that then melt down with traffic and deal with SimGothTeens writing in with their drama about banning their ex-friends and whatever else.
[User Picture]From: [info]livejournalsux
Mon, 15-Nov-2004 6:46 AM (UTC)

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What bugs me about video games is load times.
[User Picture]From: [info]mark242
Mon, 15-Nov-2004 6:33 PM (UTC)

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The reason the Sims are so popular is the same reason that paper dolls were so popular, or Barbie Dolls / GI Joe are so popular, or dressing up in a coat made of women's skin is so popular. (Uh... nevermind that one) It's the assumption of an alternate life with none of the pressures that make up your real life.

Ever notice how the really stressful situations in the Sims are nowhere to be found? Work consists of getting on a bus and waiting (during sped-up time) for your character to return. All arguments can be settled merely by talking about sailboats, money, and whether or not the stereo should be turned on. There is no alcoholism in the Sims. There are no midterm exams in the Sims. The Sims don't get sick.
[User Picture]From: [info]baconmonkey
Mon, 15-Nov-2004 10:29 PM (UTC)

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Sims2 changes that.

Sims can get the flu or food posioning.
sims now have fears and aspirations.
teenage sims can get busted by the cops for being out late.

This means that there are all kinds of new ways to make your sims miserable, hate your guts, and die horrible deaths. Food poisoning? they puke their guts out. The Flu? their cough gets progressively worse until they die an agonizing coughing death. Once dead, a sim that didn't like the now-dead sim, can desicrate their gravestone by kicking it, which makes the friends of that sim very upset when they see the broken gravestone. Sims can also go crazy if they encounter too many fears (which change in the little fears display daily). a money-oriented sim might start begging for change on te street, or a family oriented one might draw a face on a bag of flour and pretend it's a baby.
[User Picture]From: [info]hawke666
Mon, 15-Nov-2004 10:00 PM (UTC)

Sims for PS2 is not the Sims

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I'd just like to point out that if you played the Sims for PS2, you have not played the Sims. Sims for PC is a totally, totally different game.

Much less goal-oriented, much more open .. much more fun. I played the Sims on PS2 after playing The Sims on PC for a long time, and found it totally uninteresting. Much more of a treadmill of "hey you're doing good oh look now you're fucked, repeat", and a lot more limitations.

The Sims (PC) is fun for the same reason that a dollhouse is fun.
[User Picture]From: [info]mackys
Wed, 17-Nov-2004 1:15 AM (UTC)

If you like the general GTA3 idea...

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You might try the first GTA3. There is one (and only one) training mission at the start, but they don't care HOW you do it. And it's just to take someone else to a point on the map - if you crush pedestrians, set fire to police cars and steal another ride along the way, so much the merrier.

GTA3: Vice City and (it appears) GTA3: San Andreas both seem to have lost the great feeling of the first GTA, which was "we don't care HOW you do it, just get X done." A typical example might be how I barricaded a street with burning vehicles in order to stop someone who I wanted to assassinate after he had left his bodyguards behind.


-Ben
[User Picture]From: [info]x_xchantelx_x
Mon, 22-Nov-2004 12:50 AM (UTC)

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I do not agree with you at ALL about Fatal Frame 2, but I do about the Sims and GTA. I spent all bloody day running around the place to find The Sims cause everyone said it was (And I quote) 'The best game they have ever played.'
When I got home I was so dissapointed.

It seems to me like you just didn't give Fatal Frame 2 enough time. I have rapped the game and it has (IMHP) the best story line ever. If you would have maybe... hmmm... looked at your map! You would have found yourself around the place alot easier, and its easy to get lost the first time you play it. I mean you dont jsut turn on a game and say "Oh I'm going to rap this whole game in one day and become an expert."
It gets REALLY good once you get out of the Osaka house (The first house you go in, the one you mentioned) and it scaresyou out of your pants which is the best part. (If thats what you like in a game.) I'll admit I absolutely sucked at the controlling at first, but after like a couple hours, I pretty much mastered it.

Maybe you should think things through or ACTUALLY PLAY the game before you make assumptions like this.
[User Picture]From: [info]jwz
Mon, 22-Nov-2004 1:01 AM (UTC)

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I did look at the map. I did "ACTUALLY PLAY" the game. But hey, thanks for talking to me like I'm an idiot because I don't enjoy wasting my time in the exact same way you do. Fuck off.