jwz - Mesonychoteuthis hamiltoni, the "Colossal Calamari"

jwz - Mesonychoteuthis hamiltoni, the "Colossal Calamari"

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Mesonychoteuthis hamiltoni, the "Colossal Calamari"

[Thu, 3-Apr-2003 2:19 AM]

[	Tags	\|	mutants, parts, perversions, tentacles	]
[	music	\|	Front 242 -- Motion	]

Super squid surfaces in Antarctic

A colossal squid has been caught in Antarctic waters, the first example of Mesonychoteuthis hamiltoni retrieved virtually intact from the surface of the ocean. [...]

"Now we can say that it attains a size larger than the giant squid. Giant squid is no longer the largest squid that's out there. We've got something that's even larger, and not just larger but an order of magnitude meaner."

This squid has one of the largest beaks known of any squid and also has unique swivelling hooks on the clubs at the ends of its tentacles. This combination allows it to attack fish as large as the Patagonian toothfish and probably to also attempt to maul sperm whales. [...]

"It's only half to two-thirds grown, so it grows up to four metres in mantle length." By comparison, the mantle of the giant squid, Architeuthis dux, is not known to attain more than 2.25 metres. [...]

link

Comments:

From:

lapsus_0_calami
Thu, 3-Apr-2003 2:42 AM (UTC)

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mmmmmmmmm calamari (forever.......)

(Reply) (Thread)

From:

sbisson
Thu, 3-Apr-2003 2:52 AM (UTC)

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I wonder how much that one's going to taste of ammonia...

(Reply) (Thread)

From:

injector
Thu, 3-Apr-2003 7:38 AM (UTC)

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That's what I was going to point out, when scientists tried to eat some of one of the well preserved giant squids that washed up on a beach, the found it to be inedible because of the taste of ammonia. I still say they just needed some of that sauce they have at Wolfgang Puck's restaurants. Mmmmm...

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

From:

scosol
Thu, 3-Apr-2003 8:53 AM (UTC)

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what?!??!?

what kind of insane "scientist" would eat any kind of sea-carcass that had been floating around for god knows how long- and then washed up on a beach
?!?!?!!??

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

From:

injector
Thu, 3-Apr-2003 10:06 AM (UTC)

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Clyde F. E. Roper

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

From:

rivetpepsquad
Thu, 3-Apr-2003 8:28 AM (UTC)

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giant squid party platform
(if you haven't seen it already)

...i am waiting for you to say "i, for one, welcome our new giant squid masters".

(Reply) (Thread)

From:

jwz
Thu, 3-Apr-2003 12:08 PM (UTC)

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Giant Squid's a little girly squid. It's all about Colossal Squid now.

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

From:

kyronfive
Thu, 3-Apr-2003 9:32 AM (UTC)

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yes, but when do they organize a coordinated attack on the western coastline?

(Reply) (Thread)

From:

baconmonkey
Thu, 3-Apr-2003 8:02 PM (UTC)

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ehat's easy, we bomb North Korea, because they're obviously terrorist-trained WMDs (weapons of Mollusc Description).

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

From:

freiheit
Thu, 3-Apr-2003 9:34 AM (UTC)

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What will they do if they discover an even rarer, even larger species of squid? Call it the "Super Colossal Squid"? "Enourmous Squid"? "Horrifyingly Huge Squid"?

(Reply) (Thread)

From:

eminence_gris
Thu, 3-Apr-2003 9:40 AM (UTC)

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Super Dimensional Squid. Amazing Colossal Squid. Mega/Giga/TeraSquid. Microsoft Squid.

No shortage of good names, see?

I, for one, welcome our jet-propelled, tentacled masters.

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

From:

freiheit
Thu, 3-Apr-2003 9:45 AM (UTC)

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Hmmm... Lives in the coldest, nethermost depths of the oceans. Really fucking big. Clearly designed from the ground up for evil...

s/.*Squid/Cthulhu/; Anything bigger than this, they simply need to acknowledge what they've really found and give up on "oh my god it's a huge squid" type names and go with "Cthulhu".

I, for one, welcome our jet-propelled, tentacled masters.

As should we all.

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

From:

retrodiva1
Thu, 3-Apr-2003 10:21 AM (UTC)

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I'm glad someone brought up Cthulhu cause that was my first thought.

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

From:

jwz
Thu, 3-Apr-2003 12:11 PM (UTC)

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Double Density Squid, High Density Squid, then SuperSquid. After that, they'll tell you, "oh, Squids are obsolete, what you really want are Coelocanth."

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

From:

past_tense
Thu, 3-Apr-2003 6:03 PM (UTC)

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I think you have to put "pro" after the noun when you have run out of superlatives.

"Colossal Squid Pro"

Of course, if "pro" is not to your liking, you can always go the SCSI superlative route, leaving you with "Fast Wide LVD Ultra Squid 2".

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)

From:

ciphergoth
Fri, 4-Apr-2003 3:21 AM (UTC)

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Colossal Squid Pro Super Extra Plus Extreme.

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)